Stressed

So I listen to extremely calming (and beautiful) music like so:



Enjoy.

ADD?

I find myself having rather short attention spans these days. The teeniest thing could distract me and I end up wasting a lot of time doing things I don't necessarily need to to: surf the web, online shopping, read the news, go on BuzzFeed. It's just, do I have ADD? Even this blog post is something I don't necessarily need to do but I did do it didn't I? Goodness focus Faiz, focus. A couple weeks to go. 

TwentyTwo

Twenty one was definitely a year for the books. Through all the ups and downs I went through this year, I made it through and I believe I am a stronger and better person now than I was ever before. And if it was anything I learned this year, it was perseverance. Through everything that happened, I kept going. I didn't give up. There were those points where I almost hit that threshold, but I held on. Last year was a year of revolution. This revolution was of me and my outlook of life. It seemed like I have been doing it wrong all these years and focusing on all the wrong things. No, life need not be perfect. If it was, life would be so dull. Life is meant to be enjoyed. If not, there really isn't a point in living is there? A wise friend of mine who I love to death once said, "life is about doing what you really like even if it's doing nothing or just relaxing and reading your favorite book." I couldn't agree more on this. You see, before, all I was focusing on was perfection. But in actuality it isn't healthy to chase perfection. Ideally it would be nice to have a so-called 'perfect' life, but then again without all these struggles and challenges, then there really won't be any fun in living. Yes, I admit, I had some tough times through these challenges faced but I still made it through didn't I? 

Twenty two will hopefully be my best year yet. I am uncertain of what the future holds but I am keeping optimistic. I feel like with a new outlook on life, this will materialize. Before I end this simple post, here is another quote from another beloved friend of mine. "You just have to open your eyes to the beautiful things in life. See them, use them, otherwise you'll lose them." Here's to a new year. Here's to twenty two. Here's to life.

New Page

I think I've turned over a new leaf. I was in no way being myself for the past month in a half and after a couple of deep conversation with dear friends and also my beloved sister, I may think I am on track to feeling much, much better. The fact that this week has been the best week yet of this semester is proof my life is looking up. I think the moral of this story is to not bottle up too much inside. I think I found that out the hard way. But the past is history, and now I am more determined to focus on the present and also plan for the future. I'll do my best to get back to where I was when I was extremely happy and hopefully finish of this year with a bang. Looking forward for Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas and December break. Let's do this. 

:)

Hope

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
'Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold on with all of my might
Just promise me we'll be alright

Old Faiz where are you?

Hurt

Maybe it's because I over analyze everything, but I just don't know what has happened to me. I feel rather uptight lately and I just don't know where the old me went. Was it because of that summer back home? I kind of miss home more than I ever had lately and I just don't know what to do. I have so many things jumbled up in my mind that I honestly think that I have almost reached that point where I almost can't take it anymore. I feel stressed out every single day and my savior is the gym. I don't smoke, I don't drink so that's pretty much the only option I got and I absolutely love it. But the thing is with everything going on in my life I feel mature beyond my age. I turn 22 in 20 days and I feel like I have a mind of a 28 year old. I should be enjoying my time here. I should be having the time of my life. I thought I was. But then when I dwell on this I feel like there is a huge void in my life where I just can't seem to fill. However, I am so grateful for all the support I've been getting from my friends here, family back home and especially my sister. If it weren't for them, I would think I'd go out of my mind. People say patience is a virtue, and boy have I been tirelessly been waiting, and waiting for something to go right, but nothing seems to be working at all. God, if you're listening, please please please calm my soul. I don't know why but I feel like if I was pushed I could literally suffer from a disastrous breakdown of sorts.

I just want to find the old me again. The person people knew as carefree, and just a joy to be around with. I miss him. And hopefully I can find him again in these coming days cause I don't want to start a new year being this version of myself. 

Ps// Readers, this post is rather depressing, but I can assure you I am holding up. I am generally an optimistic person so I won't do anything harmful or life threatening. Thanks for reading and caring. I love you.

Nope

These past few weeks haven't been the best to tell you the truth. I have been consistently busy with school and at times I feel like I am investing way too much time in it and I wonder if this is all worth it. But then again, of course it is. Surprisingly, a whole lot has happened and I am surprisingly...calm. I sort of have a new life motto now which is "whatever happens, happens" and though it may not be one to swear by, but you know I guess I am holding up. The gym has been a great escape of course and I have to say after a month and a half of this I think I am getting used to it and it is the one thing I look forward to everyday, well almost everyday. I usually go 5/6 times a week. Apart from that, a couple more midterms to do, a robot to make, final exams to take and of course, not to forget 95492387542308 different assignments to do, I can almost smell the end...of this semester. And of course the end of this life (as an always busy college student) I'm living at least for this year. Yes, a little bit more and then a much needed break. Am looking forward for that and hopefully this semester will go well.

Just Stop

Sometimes in this hectic life we live in, we forget to stop, and just take a moment to breathe. You wake up in the morning, and what do you do? For students alike, classes, homework, study, and a little partying on the side, and for the working-class men and women, it's work, then more work and a little bit of socializing on the side. It seems like your day-to-day schedule is set and there is seemingly no way to get around it. Little do you know it, is that life is so much more than just this. Life is about smiling to that person walking down the street. Life is about breathing the cold fresh air of an autumn day. Life is about being yourself. But most importantly life is to be enjoyed most by who else but you? So take that little moment to smile today. Take that moment to call/text a long lost contact today. Take that moment to tell someone you love them today. Its these little things that makes life, life. So drink a cup of joe/tea/hot cocoa and do what you enjoy. It is your life after all. Toodles.

We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into a mutually satisfying weirdness–and call it love–true love. -Robert Fulghum

All I Need

If everything we've got is slipping away
I meant what I said when I said until my dying day
I'm holding on to you, holding on to me
Maybe it's all gone black but you're all I see
You're all I see

Malaysia

It was a 26 hour journey from MSP to KUL, and because I sort of didn't sleep through any of them (I find it difficult to sleep on planes), I made it through with 8 cups of coffee. This, of course included the $8 one purchased in Amsterdam. It's rather ironic cause only a year ago, I wouldn't even drink coffee. My Amsterdam airport adventure continued with me starting a conversation with a guy from Switzerland and we hit it off almost instantly. Another woman from Berlin joined our conversation a little later and that made my 5 hour layover in Schiphol that much easier. Phew.

Once I got back home, I was of course greeted my my mom, who I could tell was overjoyed, dad and younger siblings. I told them I needed to get a cappuccino before we left the airport and we did exactly that. Since I arrived in the wee hours of the morning, we got some breakfast before heading home. I wasn't really jet-lagged (at least I think I wasn't) and on the first day I arrived, I did the one thing I wanted to do for the past 10 months. Drive. Yeah, simple as it may sound but driving is just one of those few things which actually makes me happy. So I did that almost immediately after reaching home and ladies and gentlemen, I still have it in me. The ability to drive well of course.

In the 4 days I've been home, I have done a lot. I feel like I compressed too much in too little time and today, I sort of crashed. I was rather tired and decided it would be a perfect day to stay in. So what I ended up doing was start - and finish - a new book I got off my Kindle. Score. So far this summer, I have finished 7 books since school was done in May. Quite a feat I think. Hopefully this summer reading will continue. I honestly don't know what else I will be doing this week, but hopefully I could meet up with at least one of my friends to catch up. We'll see.

Till the next time.

Here We Go

It was a rather busy week for me. Having to run a few last-minute errands for the family surely was tiring. But thankfully the shopping has been done and also everything ordered online has arrived. Now I guess all I need to do left is pack. I have to say I don't enjoy packing. If my stuff could pack themselves I would be forever grateful. Unfortunately life isn't easy. Well, a couple more days before I'm off. Here we go!

Currently playing Mat Kearney on repeat. Gosh I love this dude.

10 Months

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. - Neale Donald Walsh

August 20th 2011. That was the day my life changed, forever. It was the day I headed to the USA (again) to continue my college career, and as timid as I was, I put on my brave face and went. Albeit a taxing first week here in Minnesota, it was all for the better. I found myself living with 2 other great roommates and one not-so-great roommate. Well, what can I say, we can't have it all, right? It was a risk worth taking to have not contact anybody here before coming. It was a test to myself to put myself out there and hey, guess what? I did good. Of course taking the easy route of giving people here a heads up before I came would have made my life 9543208 easier, but that was just, too simple. I like being independent and that was just not my style. 

Like the quote above, it is true in so many ways. Life does begin at the end of your comfort zone. Sure, you may think that you are living life, but can you say that you are actually living life? Ask yourself, how may times have you stepped outside of your zone? You know those times where you did something that you never thought you could do? Those times where you did something outside of the norm? If you did stop to think and came up with nothing, then I suggest you try something you never would have thought of doing soon. It may seem hard cause of that cushion of comfort of life as you have it now, but why play it safe all the time? Risks are, at times, meant to be taken and you know what? It may also be the one thing that may or may not change you life forever. Remember life it short so make the most of it while you still can. You don't want to be that 'damn, I should have...' old man or woman 50 years down the road.

Minnesota was so intimidating for me at first and never in a million years would I have thought I'd be where I am today. For that, I forever thankful and grateful to Him for guiding me down this path to this life I have now. Alhamdulillah. It wasn't that I didn't believe in myself, but I was a timid young man, starting a new chapter his life. I was about to have an experience not many would be fortunate enough to have. And, I did want to make the most of this experience. I feel like after adjusting myself to the Minnesotan way here, I got more comfortable in my own skin and I worked wonders. Classes went well, I made friends easily and 10 months later, well, I am still alive and kicking right? Getting to this point in life I am now didn't come without it's struggles of course, but I have to say, it was all worth it. I won't know what will happen in the future, but I will be optimistic and hope for more great things to come my way. 

Now that I have endured 3 different semesters here, it is time for me to head home for the summer. I am extremely excited to be heading home, but part of me will miss this place. I know I will be heading back here, but still, 2 months away from this place I have called home for the past 10 months, will perhaps be rather bittersweet for me. I hope to be able to live here for an extended period of time but like I said, I am making the most of my time here now and of course I'll work my ass off to try to get a job here after school and if it was in the books for me to stay, then I will. The experience I have had here has been bittersweet nonetheless, but along the way, I learned a lot about myself and also grown and matured into a better me. So if I had to do it all over again would I have done it any different? Absolutely not.

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain

It's Happening

As I Skype with my mom, I can't believe how close we are to actually talking face to face, breathing the same air and of course, standing on the same ground, the ground I call home. In less than a month, I will be heading on home and truth be told, I am actually kind of nervous to go back. I don't know, the prospect of being scrutinized by traditional family members is imminent and I don't know how I will be able to handle that. Of course over the past year, I have changed, but I believe I have changed for the better. Yes, I am still that same old Faiz, who laughs at practically anything and everything, but perhaps this version of me coming home will be one who has aged and matured and perhaps a little more 'Americanized' in culture. But that isn't a bad thing (I think). I feel like over the past 9.5 months or so, I have learned so much about myself, and done things I wouldn't have thought possible. Besides that, I have made wonderful friends who, I think makes my stay here that much more enjoyable.

Now, all that is left in these 2.5 weeks before I head home is to buy goodies for the family to bring home. Of course since everything here (branded goods) are so much cheaper, I am assigned the task of being a shopper to hunt for great deals on things my family back home wants. And boy, that list is rather long. But it's OK, cause I do enjoy shopping and if it would make them happy, it would make me happy. So until then, I will enjoy the little bit of summer here just chilling and reading, lunch with friends, movies and of course shopping. Malaysia, I can almost smell you right now. I'll see you soon!

:)

Empty

I called my Spring semester done and over with 2 weeks ago. It wasn't the best of semesters but I am going to make sure I work my ass of in the Fall to comeback. Anyway, that's besides the point. May session started Monday and my American Sign Language (ASL) class I have been taking is perhaps my only saving grace of my day. I am so bored at home now I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Keep myself busy watching TV and movies? Check. Keep myself busy in the kitchen? Check. Keep myself busy outside of this house? Check. But I feel like I am running out of things to do. It seems like even though I am on a so-called break, it still feels so routine for me. Get home for class, relax for a bit, gym, home, cook, eat, break, tv/movie, sleep. I mean yeah, everyone I know is either out of this country, or back home or working. Seriously though, I am just bored out of my mind. Thank goodness to my roommate across the hall who I thoroughly enjoy chatting with. If it wasn't for him, I think I may just go into some great state of utter boredom. This post may be borderline rant-astic/desperate (see, I'm so bored I make up my own words now), but seriously, I need to see more familiar faces. Thank goodness it's the weekend. Now someone should call me and take me out! Save me. 

Oh, and also, home in exactly 4 weeks. Amen.

The Fighter

I haven't been into radio music for a while and I have to say, I actually like this song. I mean Gym Class Heroes and Ryan Tedder seems like an unlikely combo, but hey this song works! Listen to the lyrics. Sort of inspirational. After what I've been through this week, I sort of needed this. Well, have a great Friday everyone. :)

Boboy Pt. II

It wasn't the best day yesterday. When I found out Boboy passed, I was rather numb. I went to my class and I suppressed all my feelings inside and I honestly didn't know how I felt. I wasn't really focused in class and I hope I can recover cause a class I miss is week's worth of material covered. Anyway that is besides the point. After class, I went home and I sat down. I looked at pictures of him and the waterworks started on queue. This got even worse when I listened to Coldplay's See You Soon. Well, I guess after that, though still saddened by the news, I felt a little better. I kept myself preoccupied and did my homework and studied a little. I know Boboy is in a better place now. A place where he can breathe and play normally like other cats. He will always be my little Puss In Boots. I miss him and I will always love him.

Now, enjoy this Mat Kearney song. Take care folks.

Boboy

On this very day, our little 'Puss In Boots', Boboy, passed away. Boboy, our only tom, was strong, brave and of course cute as a button. You see, Boboy is a special cat. He has hernia and he needs extra care. Due to the weather back home (home and humid) he had difficulty breathing. Mama said he lost his appetite but then again this is most probably because he can't breathe normally so eating and breathing through the mouth would be hard. And today, he lost the fight. Boboy you went too soon. I was really looking forward to see you in a couple of weeks. I guess it was just not meant to be. Without a doubt, you will be missed Boy. I love you.

Summer Pt. II

It seems like this summer has been, well, extremely boring for me. The absence of familiar faces really does make it seem like there is a huge void in my life now. I do try to keep myself busy by doing everything I possibly can, but it can't mask the fact that I sort-of-kind-of miss hanging out (daily) with the people I have come to love here. Now, it is only weekend hangout sessions and truth be told, it isn't enough. Yes, my summer classes have started and thought I absolutely enjoy the class I am taking it still blows to know when I go to class I'll only see faces of classmates who I know for sure I won't see once this 3 week session is done and over with. Oh well, I guess I am going to have to suck it up and just live through these coming weeks. At least I have home to look forward to. Yes, soon I will be headed home and I will reunite with all those familiar faces I have come to miss dearly. 

Summer

• Read
• Eat
• Hang out
• Tumblr
• Facebook
• TV shows
• Movies
• Chat with the roommate
• Workout

That has pretty much been the schedule for my week long summer thus far. My ASL classes start next week and as excited as I am about it, I just don't know how much fun I'll have considering no one I know will be in the class. Oh well, I guess I will have to work my magic and acquire new acquaintances. That's pretty much it for now. You should check out my Tumblr cause I recently revamped it and gave it a whole new identity. I think it's pretty cool. Have a great summer everyone.

Happy Mother's Day Mama

Mother's day is here and this is the 2nd time in my life celebrating without mama by my side. God knows how much I miss her and it is such a bummer that I won't be there for the annual mom's day dinner or celebrations. Well, I might possibly fit in a Skype session this weekend. This week was brutal with my final exams all being equally nasty and I really want a hug and words of wisdom from the wisest woman I know. I admit, I miss those hour (or two) long conversations over tea and traditional Malays deserts. Hopefully June 20th comes soon so I can head home and see my family and friends and not forgetting the cats back home.

So, happy mother's day mama. I love you and I miss you more than you can imagine. I will see you soon! :)

So I Created A Tumblr Account

It's so much fun hehe. Check it out here. Follow me, like my posts, spread the word, do whatever. Have a great Friday guys.

When It All Came Crashing Down

Life's hard. I realize that now. It's not all fun and games. I know this is just a minor back-step to that goal of mine. However it is really hard to accept this fact. I tried really hard, but I am guessing it wasn't hard enough. I got to buck up and do better next time. At least the one thing I can take from this is that I learned a lot about myself and now I'm ready to take on life in a whole new perspective. Bring it life. You can bring me down, but I am always going to climb back up. I'm no quitter. So I won't stop till I reach that goal of mine. Oh just wait and see.

Ps// I really want to hug my mom now. God knows how much I miss her. :'(

Thank You

For all those times laughter was shared.
For all those times stories were told.
For all those times I wake up, excited to see your faces.
For all those times we helped each other.
For all those times we shared our homework.
For all those times we had lunch together.
For all those times my texts were entertained.
& most importantly, for all those times you were there for me.
Thanks.
I ♥ all of you.
You know who you are.
All the best for final exams and I'll see all of you soon!
May the fourth be with you!
:)

After The Storm

It was a rather stressful week for me. I just finished two back to back tests today and I have to say it was rather brutal. I don't think I have done as much studying as I had done this week than I had, err, ever and I honestly almost broke down and had that why-am-I-doing-this? feeling again. However, I had a very meaningful conversation with two great people I have came to know very well this semester. They put some sense into me and really made me open my eyes. Yeah, this thing (college) we're doing now is only the smaller picture. What I will truly get from this college career of mine is the experience of having been here. The experience of having that opportunity of learning among the crème de la crème. The experience of getting to know these people. The experience of growing and learning more about them. About myself. About life. Preparing me for when I leave this place. You see, this semester was such a struggle for me, perhaps because I was thinking too much and caring way too much about doing well. However, it shouldn't have been way. The only way to be the best I can be is to take life as it comes and make sure it doesn't push me down. Yes, studying is one thing but it is not everything. I should have been kinder to myself and should have treated myself better a few months ago. Instead I kept pushing and pushing myself but one can only take so much. I cannot rewind back time neither can I make up for those bad tests I've done this semester, but for sure starting next semester, I will have a fresh new outlook on this thing they call college. Hopefully, by doing that, the best of me will shine and I'll grow up and become to become a version of myself I can and will be proud of.

My favorite pair of twins. I love them to death.

"Life is about doing what you really like even if it's doing nothing or just relaxing and reading your favorite book." - Kianmehr Ethiatkar

‎"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is going to hit you as hard as life. It ain't about how hard you're hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward." - Some very inspirational video I watched thanks to Mehr

So True!

I always do this to read articles that my friends read. You know, I wouldn't want my Facebook to know EVERYTHING about me, up to the very last article I read. Ridiculous, I know. Oh well. Photo from The Oatmeal.

This Song Will Make You Cry

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

Three weeks to my final exams. Take care everyone.
:)

Of Lazy Weekends And StumbleUpon

This weekend I was pretty much just lazying it off and did absolutely nothing. This was pretty much the second consecutive weekend I have been doing so. It isn't good but I need to regain that rest I have been needing since as long as I can remember. I feel much more well rested now and I think this is a good thing. Finals are in a few weeks and I guess starting tomorrow, I will be fresh and rejuvenated and will be more than ready to focus on studying for the final exams. I really need to do well in every test that comes my way. I haven't been doing well this semester but I am not too worried about grades now. After some self reflection, now my focus is more on life as a whole. I hope everything goes well though. Oh and I can't believe I've been here for almost 8 months now. In a little over 2 months I will be home again. I am extremely excited. Familiar faces. Familiar sights. Familiar sounds. Familiar tastes. I'll see you (very) soon.

Also, I discovered the magic of StumbleUpon. I recommend this site to anyone who is just bored out of their mind and looking for something to read on the web or just plain do something at home. Trust me, its a great site.

Of Homework And Gorgeous Days

I was caught in a dilemma today when the sun decided to give warmth to the world and provided for a perfect get-your-butt-outside-and-stay-under-the-sun-sitting-on-green-green-grass-and-read-a-book kind of weather. I have a bunch of homework due tomorrow and I honestly should have started working on it and finished it. Instead, I couldn't resist temptation and headed out to the mall (not that kind of mall OK) at the U and lay of the grass for a good 2 hours reading a new book I purchased off my Kindle. And boy, did it feel so so so so so so good! It was a perfect Thursday and days like this I will cherish forever. Thank you God for giving me a couple weeks of rest. Really appreciate it.

:)

A Realization

So basically for the past few months, I have been on a downward spiral. I wasn't myself. I was moody and I got all pissy at most of the people I encountered (though not on purpose). It was a hard time for me and I had a lot of support from my friends and family. It wasn't anything major. It was just the stress of college getting to me (and another slightly more major thing that I won't disclose to anyone). And I figured, I shouldn't let it eat me. I should be eating it (no, just kidding). So I woke up one day last week and just lay on my bed (yes under the warmth of my down comforter! So warm and comfy!) and stared at the ceiling and went into deep thought. At the end of it I figured, yes, I should care, but not to the point where it would affect my health. Yes, grades are important, but it was affecting me to the point where I was just angry (of course cause I wasn't doing well) and I was just tired and on the verge of giving up. After checking my status on each and every one of my classes, I discovered that I can still fare decently this semester. Hence, my new determination in doing the best I could do. Yes, I won't be the A student of last semester, but in the end I would have grown so much more by the end of this one and be more wise and mature with the decisions that I make. I've learned so much in my short 8 months here and I am sure there will be more to learn. I realize that that minor hiccup earlier in the year was just one of the challenges presented to me by Him up there to see if I make it or break it. And I am glad that I was broken and found myself again and I am slowly (but surely) climbing back up to that peak. I'll make it back up there I'm sure. I'll see all of you there.

Ps// Currently playing Bon Iver on repeat. If you hadn't discovered the wonders of them yet, I suggest you do thank you.

See, I told you so.

And He's Back!

Kris Allen released his first single off his second album Thank You Camellia a few days ago and I have to say I am happy. It's been a while since I last heard of him and this just shows that he isn't going anywhere just yet. Enjoy!



On a totally unrelated note, have you guys heard of that new tumblr page Texts from Hillary? If you hadn't, please do check it out! It is hilarious. I found it after a couple of people were posting about it on FB and I decided to click on the link and I was hooked. It's relatively new so there aren't many posts up yet, but I am sure there will be more hilarious ones to come! Again, enjoy!

I Found Myself Again

When I came here 7.5 months ago, I never imagined I would have been fortunate enough to be at this point of my life I am now. I was so timid back then, as I pretty much knew absolutely no one and had no place to stay. But I figured I'd go through this whole process one step at a time. And lo and behold, not even a year later I can say I am extremely comfortable here. The housing situation was pretty much settled a few days after I arrived here. And eventually when classes started, I slowly (but surely) managed to befriend a handful of people. I guess I am doing good for myself considering I came to this place and pretty much had to find my place here from scratch.

And boy did I have a grand time last year. Despite a whirlwind of a semester, it was great. It almost seemed like it went by a little too fast though. However, I didn't mind that cause that's a clear indication I was having a blast here. It was the semester that I surprised myself even. I never thought I would be as comfortable as I was. But I was. And it is a great feeling. Also, classes last semester were tough (no kidding) but it perhaps was the best semester of my college career thus far. If only U of M didn't put their Dean's list standard at a 3.67, I would have easily gotten on it. Just missed that mark by 0.07 and though I was sort of upset, I was overjoyed cause I did not expect the semester to be such a great one.

Now it's my second semester of college here and I have to say I love it here. The people, the environment, is just great. The young college crowd gives this place such a great young vibe. I recently went to Chicago for 6 days during spring break here and after a couple of days, I honestly started to miss home (Minneapolis). Not that I wasn't having a blast in Chicago, but it just dawned on me that when we (my friend and I) got back to the hotel, it wasn't my room I was coming back to, wasn't my bed. So yeah. I feel like I have an emotional attachment to Minneapolis now.

Alright, back to school. This semester has been going I guess. Albeit not smoothly, its going. I don't know how well I will end up doing this semester as a few weeks ago I was just out of it and wasn't myself. However, now, I feel more pumped than ever. I am determined to do the best I can for these remaining weeks and hopefully pull off great grades as well. I feel so much better knowing that in the end everything will be OK. With the support of my family and friends, I am in a much better place now. I really would like to thank everyone who has been there for me for the past few weeks. Faiz is back. Yeah baby!

This is...

...a beautiful song I wish would never end.

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me

Dear Blog,

Dear Blog,

Do you know how much I have missed you? Time has been cruel to me as of late, as it zooms by in a zip. Also, it seems like this year hasn't been going well for me. I get distracted so easily now and my mind seems to be elsewhere. What has happened to me? After the first round of midterms (of which I did not do so well in), I was determined to catch up. However, the semester has passed its midpoint and still I feel so far behind. I am in that point of my life where I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't focus. I can't sleep at night. I think way too much. Gosh. Spring break is coming to an end too. And despite the amazing time I had in Chicago with a buddy of mine, I still feel like I need a break. I know summer is just around the corner and home awaits me, but...

The only thing that's keeping me moving forward is the fact that I have the most amazing family and friends. Corny as it may sound but its true. I hope I can still end this semester on a high note. Last semester went surprisingly well and I hope I can continue this trend.

Hopefully in the next update, I will be back to my normal self. But, until then, this update will have to do. I will be slumped with more homework till the end of the semester. All I can do is pray all will be fine with me.

Sincerely,

Faiz

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how you feel
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

Totally sums up how I'm feeling right now.

Jurassic Park

It perhaps is one of my favorite movies of all time. Come on, who, when they were a kid didn't think dinosaurs were the coolest thing the in world? Yeah, I thought so. I also happen to love the theme song of the movie. It's perhaps one of the most iconic theme songs for a movie out there. Picture yourself sitting at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the ocean, watching the sunset. Exactly how I feel every time I hear this beautiful piece of music. If not that, it reminds me of my childhood. Gaah, I miss being a kid, that carefree, dinosaur-loving kid I used to be. Enjoy. 

:') 

:')

It's videos like this one that just make me want to cry. Cry and be thankful for the life I have been blessed with today. The world is a beautiful place. Thank you God. :)

As of Late...

I have been thinking a lot. Thinking about how this semester will turn out. Thinking about home. Thinking about life, in general. It's sort of bringing me down (a little) and as much as I try not to show it, I really look worn out, as if I hadn't just arose from a 7 hour sleep. What is happening to me? I want to be back to my normal self again, that Faiz everyone knows as loud, cheery and friendly. To everyone who has been affected by my mood swings of late, I truly apologize. I am only human and it's just one of those times.

Ps// I think a hug from mom and dad is way overdue.

New Beginnings

Yesterday was officially the start of my second semester here in Minneapolis. I have to say I was excited to kick start this semester. I wanted to be productive again. I wanted to be meet up with more familiar faces again. Ultimately, I wanted to go back to school. I have attended all the classes I will need to attend and it seems like it will still be a challenging semester for me nonetheless.

For the past couple of days, I have met up with most of the friends I was looking forward to meeting and I have to say I couldn't be more happier to see their faces again. I know for sure I can count on them for homework help and studying.

I am also trying out this thing known as 'budgeting'. I hadn't tried it yet since I came here, but I feel like it is time to do so (crazy right?). Wish me luck?

So here's to another great semester ahead. Here's to new friendships. Here's to new beginnings.

:)

We Are Young

Heard this song on Glee and fell in love with it almost immediately. I think this this will be my current anthem. It is rather true. I mean, when was the last time you did something not because you had to or needed to, but did something just...because? So I guess just live life to the fullest, and cherish every single second of life you have because you never know when this gift can be taken away from you.

Friday Night Lights

One of the best films I have watched in a while. I think you would agree with me as well. Watch it, you won't be disappointed. I will end this with a quote from the movie, which I think is very inspiring.

"To me, being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It's not about winning. It's about you and your relationship to yourself and your family and your friends. Bein' perfect...is about being able to look your friends in the eye...and know that you didn't let them down. Because you told 'em the truth. And that truth is, is that you did everything that you could. There wasn't one more thing that you could've done. Can you live in that moment...as best you can with clear eyes...and love in your heart? With joy in your heart? If you can do that, gentlemen, then you're perfect" - Coach Gary Gaines.