The Truth

January this year was awful for me. It was the time where I sort of saw all the hope and dreams I had built crash just cause of one minor issue. I have no idea why my VISA was issued to me later than I had anticipated, but to me, it was frustrating. Everyone told me that they felt sorry for me blah blah blah, but ultimately, they had no idea how I felt. I kept this bottled up in me for quite a while, and I feel like now is the right time to tell my story. 

  

As I prepared myself for the upcoming months, I did not know what to do. I had no purpose. I had no motivation. Hence, in January I became a complete couch potato. I watched TV day and night and I was slowly losing hope. Heck, I even forced myself to watch shows I did not enjoy due to the lack of a better TV show. Mom and dad told me to go out and look for a job, but quite frankly I wasn’t ready for that last January. I seriously needed time for myself. Time for me to get over the frustration I felt. Time alone. Period. As the month went by, I saw that my fitness level plunged to an all-time low. I became lethargic every other afternoon; hence afternoon naps became a formality. I did not like it. But I did not want to do anything about it either.

When February came, I decided to change my habits. I decided to start working on improving my fitness level by doing light exercises. I found out that it was actually good for me as I noticed my fitness level improve significantly. Besides helping me physically, it helped me mentally. I channeled all my frustration and anger to my exercise regimen. It seemed like the perfect distraction for me and slowly, I started to like it. Now I do a light workout every weekday just to pass my time. On the bright side, afternoon naps are now a thing of the past. Besides this, I also started to go out again. Of course as most friends are either in The States or in a local university, outings with the family became frequent. I realized that there was so much that I was missing out on while I was in my phase last January. I realized that this is also one way of God telling me to spend more quality time with my family. And quite frankly, I like it. My family is the most important thing in my life and I love them to bits. In fact, they were the ones who helped me through one of the lowest times of my life and got me back on my feet. So, I owe them big time.

Now I feel much better than I did before but I still wonder about why He did not let me fly off to The States yet. Of course I am still a little disappointed, but I know everything happens for a reason and I am positive that this was for the better. Currently, I am still at home, unemployed, and enjoying every second of every day I have with my family. Cause I know that day will come when I fly off to start a new journey and I will miss them like crazy. So for now, I guess I shall explore the wonders of the kitchen and experiment on new recipes, spend quality time with the family and maintain relationships with friends near and far (THANK GOODNESS FOR SKYPE!). And I’ll do all this while I wait for Fall to come so I can finally start my new ventures in The USA at long last.