Nov 23, 2012

TwentyTwo


Twenty one was definitely a year for the books. Through all the ups and downs I went through this year, I made it through and I believe I am a stronger and better person now than I was ever before. And if it was anything I learned this year, it was perseverance. Through everything that happened, I kept going. I didn't give up. There were those points where I almost hit that threshold, but I held on. Last year was a year of revolution. This revolution was of me and my outlook of life. It seemed like I have been doing it wrong all these years and focusing on all the wrong things. No, life need not be perfect. If it was, life would be so dull. Life is meant to be enjoyed. If not, there really isn't a point in living is there? A wise friend of mine who I love to death once said, "life is about doing what you really like even if it's doing nothing or just relaxing and reading your favorite book." I couldn't agree more on this. You see, before, all I was focusing on was perfection. But in actuality it isn't healthy to chase perfection. Ideally it would be nice to have a so-called 'perfect' life, but then again without all these struggles and challenges, then there really won't be any fun in living. Yes, I admit, I had some tough times through these challenges faced but I still made it through didn't I? 

Twenty two will hopefully be my best year yet. I am uncertain of what the future holds but I am keeping optimistic. I feel like with a new outlook on life, this will materialize. Before I end this simple post, here is another quote from another beloved friend of mine. "You just have to open your eyes to the beautiful things in life. See them, use them, otherwise you'll lose them." Here's to a new year. Here's to twenty two. Here's to life.

Nov 7, 2012

New Page

I think I've turned over a new leaf. I was in no way being myself for the past month in a half and after a couple of deep conversation with dear friends and also my beloved sister, I may think I am on track to feeling much, much better. The fact that this week has been the best week yet of this semester is proof my life is looking up. I think the moral of this story is to not bottle up too much inside. I think I found that out the hard way. But the past is history, and now I am more determined to focus on the present and also plan for the future. I'll do my best to get back to where I was when I was extremely happy and hopefully finish of this year with a bang. Looking forward for Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas and December break. Let's do this. 

:)

Nov 3, 2012

Hope


So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
'Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold on with all of my might
Just promise me we'll be alright

Old Faiz where are you?

Hurt

Maybe it's because I over analyze everything, but I just don't know what has happened to me. I feel rather uptight lately and I just don't know where the old me went. Was it because of that summer back home? I kind of miss home more than I ever had lately and I just don't know what to do. I have so many things jumbled up in my mind that I honestly think that I have almost reached that point where I almost can't take it anymore. I feel stressed out every single day and my savior is the gym. I don't smoke, I don't drink so that's pretty much the only option I got and I absolutely love it. But the thing is with everything going on in my life I feel mature beyond my age. I turn 22 in 20 days and I feel like I have a mind of a 28 year old. I should be enjoying my time here. I should be having the time of my life. I thought I was. But then when I dwell on this I feel like there is a huge void in my life where I just can't seem to fill. However, I am so grateful for all the support I've been getting from my friends here, family back home and especially my sister. If it weren't for them, I would think I'd go out of my mind. People say patience is a virtue, and boy have I been tirelessly been waiting, and waiting for something to go right, but nothing seems to be working at all. God, if you're listening, please please please calm my soul. I don't know why but I feel like if I was pushed I could literally suffer from a disastrous breakdown of sorts.

I just want to find the old me again. The person people knew as carefree, and just a joy to be around with. I miss him. And hopefully I can find him again in these coming days cause I don't want to start a new year being this version of myself. 

Ps// Readers, this post is rather depressing, but I can assure you I am holding up. I am generally an optimistic person so I won't do anything harmful or life threatening. Thanks for reading and caring. I love you.

Oct 24, 2012

Nope

These past few weeks haven't been the best to tell you the truth. I have been consistently busy with school and at times I feel like I am investing way too much time in it and I wonder if this is all worth it. But then again, of course it is. Surprisingly, a whole lot has happened and I am surprisingly...calm. I sort of have a new life motto now which is "whatever happens, happens" and though it may not be one to swear by, but you know I guess I am holding up. The gym has been a great escape of course and I have to say after a month and a half of this I think I am getting used to it and it is the one thing I look forward to everyday, well almost everyday. I usually go 5/6 times a week. Apart from that, a couple more midterms to do, a robot to make, final exams to take and of course, not to forget 95492387542308 different assignments to do, I can almost smell the end...of this semester. And of course the end of this life (as an always busy college student) I'm living at least for this year. Yes, a little bit more and then a much needed break. Am looking forward for that and hopefully this semester will go well.

Oct 13, 2012

Just Stop

Sometimes in this hectic life we live in, we forget to stop, and just take a moment to breathe. You wake up in the morning, and what do you do? For students alike, classes, homework, study, and a little partying on the side, and for the working-class men and women, it's work, then more work and a little bit of socializing on the side. It seems like your day-to-day schedule is set and there is seemingly no way to get around it. Little do you know it, is that life is so much more than just this. Life is about smiling to that person walking down the street. Life is about breathing the cold fresh air of an autumn day. Life is about being yourself. But most importantly life is to be enjoyed most by who else but you? So take that little moment to smile today. Take that moment to call/text a long lost contact today. Take that moment to tell someone you love them today. Its these little things that makes life, life. So drink a cup of joe/tea/hot cocoa and do what you enjoy. It is your life after all. Toodles.

We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into a mutually satisfying weirdnessand call it love–true love. -Robert Fulghum

Jul 10, 2012

All I Need

If everything we've got is slipping away
I meant what I said when I said until my dying day
I'm holding on to you, holding on to me
Maybe it's all gone black but you're all I see
You're all I see